Tag Archives: humor

George Carlin Quotes

George Carlin on Wiki photoGeorge Denis Patrick Carlin born on May 12, 1937, died from heart failure on this day, June 22, 2008, at seventy-one years old. “He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comedians.”His final HBO special, It’s Bad for Ya, was filmed less than four months before his death. In 2008, he was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. (information and photo from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Carlin)

Here are some Carlin quotes:

“Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”

“That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”

“Meow” means “woof” in cat.”

“I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, ‘Where’s the self-help section?’ She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.”

“Isn’t it unnerving that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?”

“And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.”

Thanks for the laughs, George.


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5 Ways to Add Humor to Your Memoir by Stacey Gustafson

Stacey's head shotThe following is Stacey  Gustafson’s blog post from March 6, 2015.

Her eBOOK, for a limited time, is  99¢. Click here to get your copy, http://amzn.to/1Bgwatq Gustafson_Front_LO 092614

Her blog is: http://staceygustafson.com/blog/

   5 Ways to Add Humor to Your Memoir
Do you believe that memoir has to be serious in order to get your point across? Think again! Let me teach you 5 Ways to Add Humor to Your Memoir.
Adding humor to memoir will hold the attention of the reader longer by lightening the mood. It also helps us remember what we were reading.
In his bestselling book, “On Writing Well,” author William Zinsser, writes that “humor is the secret weapon of the nonfiction writer.” It is often the best tool and only tool for making an important point.
1. Use funny sounding words
Words that have the hard “k” and “p” elicit humor. We can’t help but laugh. Think Dr. Seuss.
The Cat in the Hat Quotes
“Look at me!
Look at me!
Look at me NOW!
It is fun to have fun
But you have to know how.” ― Dr. Seuss
Sometimes a word is funny sounding because it has gone out of fashion like mollycoddle and lollygag. We laugh because we have never heard the word before and it tickles our funny bone as it rolls off the tongue.
According to Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inherently_funny_word
An inherently funny word is a word, which can be found amusing without any given context, like onomatopoeia. Such words have been used by a range of influential comedians to enhance the humor of their routines.
The consonant plosives (so called because they start suddenly or “explosively”) p, b, t, d, k, and g are the funniest sounds in the English language.
List of Funny Sounding Words
Bamboozled Brouhaha
Cantankerous Floozy
Gobbledygook Kerfuffle
Ker plunk Klutz
Lackadaisical Lollygag
Persnickety Pantaloons
Scuttlebutt Spark
Tater Wishy-washy
2. Use funny numbers
Odd numbers are funnier than even numbers. Would you rather have 13 mangy dogs or 10 smelly cats?
Large numbers that end in 9 catch the reader’s attention faster. Do you want to read about a kid that ate 579 jellybeans or a girl that could stuff 8 grapes in her mouth?
In the comedy series How I Met Your Mother, the character Barney Stinson (Neil Patrick Harris) uses the number 83 in his made-up statistics, because he believes the number is funny. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inherently_funny_word
For great examples of numbers in comedy, Watch How I Met Your Mother – Countdown from 50 to 1.
3. Similes and Metaphors
Use similes and metaphors to enrich your writing. Similes often use connecting words such as like, as, so, and than. A vivid simile will paint a picture in the reader’s mind and clarify an idea.
Simile – a figure of speech in which two unlike things are explicitly compared, as in “She is like a rose.”
Metaphor – a figure of speech in which a term or phrase is applied to something to which it is not literally applicable in order to suggest a resemblance, as in “A mighty fortress is our God.” Think an emblem or symbol. “Janet is a pig when she eats.”
• Like Simba’s presentation ceremony in the Lion King, my guys handed me a heaping platter of smoky, charred delights. http://staceygustafson.com/barbeque-battle-mom-vs-man/
• The kiosk guys eye me like a polar bear on a hunk of meat. http://staceygustafson.com/kiosk-christmas-causes-chaos/
• At that moment, like Jolly Ole’ St. Nick, his eyes sparkled and in a loud voice and he said, “Where’s the nearest Home Depot?” http://staceygustafson.com/happy-fathers-day-mr-duct-tape/
4. Add Dialogue
Use dialogue to move the story along. It develops your characters. Natural dialogue will make your story believable. Use contractions. It sounds more relatable to say, ‘I can’t go” rather than “I cannot go with you.” Speaking like a character in a Shakespearean play will always be a turn off.
To improve your dialogue, ease drop on customers at Starbucks or take notes at the dinner table. Read it aloud to others. Listen to television shows to understand the cadence of language.
“What’s for dinner?” he said, sniffing the air for a hint.
“Leftovers,” I said as I turned on the microwave.
5. Sound words
Bang! Crunch! Slurp! Zing! These words are called onomatopoeia, words that sound like what they mean. By adding them to your writing, you animate your prose and amp up the visual.
Example “Shut the Hell Up I’m Taking a Nap”
I popped up in bed, blinking like crazy. Out the window I spied a saw. And a tree. Timber. Next up, I watched as he reinstalled loose fence panels with a hammer. Bam, bam, buzzzzz. When finished, with a flourish he let out a big whistle for the kids to join him and admire his workmanship.
By that point, the dog couldn’t contain himself. He charged the open window and jumped up and down to get a peek at the commotion. Ruff, ruff, growl.
For more pointers, read How to Write Funny http://staceygustafson.com/write-funny/
Do you have any humorous writing tips? Please share!

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Interview with Poet Marilyn Slade

FrontCover of Written Across the GenresHIPoet Marilyn Slade has two poems published in my anthology, Written Across the Genres. “Traveling to Nowhere” is based on a serious theme whereas in “Waiting Room Connect” readers can enjoy her humor.

Here is the bio she gave me. Marilyn Slade has been described as an immature senior citizen which accounts for her love of humor. She writes Haiku, poetry, short stories, and unfinished novels. She taught a class on a cruise ship to Mexico but it was mistaken for a class in martial arts.

Interview with Poet Marilyn Slade:

Julaina: How did you get the ideas for your poems?

Marilyn: A quirky mind helps when deciding what to write. You can’t control where your mind or imagination will take you.

Julaina: What is a writing day like for you?

Marilyn: Usually feeling the pressure to deliver. I write mostly in evenings when I have open time.

Julaina: What do you enjoy about writing?

Marilyn: Losing myself and all my pains and troubles while I enjoy my fun characters.

Julaina: What is the difficult part of writing?

Marilyn: To set aside distractions or limit the time spent on them so I can finish my memoir, two novels, short stories, and a book of poems.

Julaina: You have several projects going on. Do you have a tip for aspiring writers?

Marilyn: Don’t let yourself get waylaid.

Julaina: Is there anything else you’d like to share?

Marilyn: I hope readers will laugh and enjoy my writing and that it will spark in them the impulse to write their own stories or poems.

Julaina:  Thanks, Marilyn. You know I’m a big fan of yours.

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More about Author Shannon Brown

In my previous post, I interviewed Shannon Brown who has two novel excerpts in my anthology, WRITTEN ACROSS THE GENRES. She attends our writers group in Dublin, CA. As the teacher, I give ten minute exercises to practice what we’ve discussed. Here is Shannon’s ideas about writing with some rhetorical devices.

Disneyland is fun in the morning. Disneyland is fun in the afternoon. Disneyland is fun at night. I am one of those people who likes Disneyland and doesn’t think it’s cheesy, however, the repeating stye of writing is coming out extremely cheesy. Not Gouda at all, it’s not better with cheddar, so go tell your Uncle Jack: “Don’t show up at the party unless you brought Havarti.”

The plot of Shannon Brown’s novel, ROCK’n’ROLL in LOCKER SEVENTEEN, involves seventeen-year-old  Steven White, the biggest fan of teen idol Ricky Stevenson whose fate Steven is determined to discover. The description on the back cover states that it’s “a hilarious novel about what happens to Steven when he discovers what really happened to the missing star.”

Find it on Amazon.




Filed under Anthology, Interviews, Young Adult Novel

Penny Warner at The San Francisco Writers Conference

Penny Warner at The San Francisco Writers Conference

Long time friend, Penny Warner and me. I had a chance to go to two of Penny’s sessions this year at the San Francisco Writers Conference and enjoyed her humor as usual.

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February 19, 2014 · 9:59 pm

Book Launch with Home Improvement Stories

Going to a book launch tonight. Julie Rice, author of PILZ, Camille Thompson, and Stacey Gustafson have stories in NOT YOUR MOTHER’S BOOK with the subtitle of Home Improvement. They will be reading from the book and I’m sure it will be fun. All three have a sense of humor that is reflected in their stories.

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Filed under Anthology, Book Recommendations, Book Signings, Uncategorized

Lawrence Ferlinghetti Quote

If you missed Elaine Webster’s comment to my last post, “Rhythm, Cadence and Beats”, here is the humorous quote she told from Lawrence Ferlinghetti:

“Don’t be so open-minded that your brains fall out.”

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To Wax or not to Wax at the Nail Salon

Stacey Gustafson is at it again with her humor. Check out her recent blog post:




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YA Book Recommendation

Shannon Brown’s book, Rock’n’Roll in Locker Seventeen is a hilarious novel about seventeen-year-old Steven who is the biggest fan of a rock’n’roll star who vanished thirty years ago. Shannon presents the question, “What if you discovered what really happened to the world’s most famous missing rock star?”

You can find out by ordering Rock’n’Roll in Locker Seventeen on Amazon.

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Six Signs of Middle Age Humor

Stacey Gustafson’s recent post is titled, “6 Signs You’re Middle-Aged”. How many signs describe you?

Check out staceygustafson.com



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